Last week I talked about babysitting with the 3-year-old triplets Isla, Luke and Quinn. This week I want to talk about my challenge and eventual triumph over the child-proof locks in their home. It was not without drama.
There were six different types of locks in the house, none of which are suited for a 66-year-old woman who has flunked every kind of spatial test she has ever taken. I havent had to take many, but I have not scored nearly as well as I do on any given vocabulary test.
Here is a picture of a perfectly square box. Is it right-side up or upside-down? Mensa asks.
Box, I can offer. You spell it box.
And I have arthritis in my hands and have pretty much lost the ability to squeeze.
Thank goodness there was an 8-year-old and a 10-year-old sister in the house to help me during my lock-out. During the school day, however, I was on my own.
It was a school day when I first encountered the locked silverware drawer. There wasnt even anything on the outside that I could see. I pulled it out as far as I could, which wasnt far, and tried to push what looked like a lock down on the inside, but it didnt budge.
Isla didnt see me for some reason, or she would have looked at me through narrowed eyes like she does when she thinks Im pretty clueless. I had to wait until 8-year-old Faith got home and said, Oh, those are magnetic. There are magnets on the refrigerator and microwave to use.
So you rub those along the outside until you hear a click and the drawer magically opens. Or in my case, I hear a click and it doesnt open, and I call for an older child. I found out where the plastic ware was so I could live without silverware during the day.
Then there are some long lock things that fit into a thing with teeth. I figured that out but then put it back backward and Faith had to give me a lesson on that.
Moving on. The lock on the sink totally flummoxed me. (See. I spelled that hard word correctly, even if I wondered if you can be partially flummoxed or if flummoxation is always total. And I know its written right-side up.)
I sent a picture to my daughter with five kids in hopes she could help, even though she gave up on child-proof locks with child No. 2, I believe.
Just squeeze the little square things together to open it and then click it shut, she said. See above note about not having much finger squeezability anymore.
I finally got it and reopened it and just put what I needed from there on the counter so I didnt have to repeat that until Faith got home.
Now, the lock on the trash is broken. That is the lock I kept forgetting to close on my last visit and Luke fussed with me and Isla locked it for me. I dont think she realized I was not the one needing to stay out of the trash.
Luke also fusses if the lock on the water and ice dispenser on the refrigerator isnt locked. Wherever they are in the house, they can hear I have not silently held the spot down for three seconds and locked it. I either get reminded by a 3-year-old, or a 3-year-old pushes it and dispenses water on the floor.
Those locks are all in the kitchen. There are also locks on all the doors I have trouble with. I also have forgotten a couple of times to close the bathroom door when coming out, and that has been disastrous. A while back they unrolled toilet paper into the toilet and then Luke got upset because wet toilet paper was sticking to his hands. Isla didnt care.
I left it open again this trip after their parents got home and basically the same thing happened. My son helped me clean it up.
Is there anything I need to know about? the mother called from the next room.
Nope, I said, sopping up the floor.
My son whispered, You might want to wash their hands. They have been playing in the toilet, you know.
I dont remember if when my children were growing up, it was a jungle with a bunch of out-of-control monkeys, but maybe it was.
Or maybe Im just old(er), slow(er) and arthritic.
Brady seems to have idyllic memories of his childhood with every child behaving, so Ill just go with that.
As long as the triplets dont lock me out of their hearts, Ill be just fine.
Elzey is a freelance writer for the Register & Bee. She can be reached at susanelzey@yahoo.com or (434) 791-7991.
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Capable of handling triplets, but not the locks - GoDanRiver.com
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